Monday, 14 April 2014

UNLEASH THE DOGS OF WAR


by Balaclava Dog

"Greetings from New Republic of Slaviyansk-Dogtopia! We have seized control of local dog pound from forces loyal to evil cat-loving Kievan Junta, namely dirty squirrel called Boris.

We assert sovereign right of local Russian dog to piss on fire hydrant and stick head out of tractor window on freeway. We also demand right of unification with other Russian dog near Stravinsky sausage factory. Western media is to criticize for us by pissing on fire hydrant, but fire hydrant symbol of evil Atlanticist alliance that want to replace us with poodle and other gay sex pet, like octopus.

Dog pound of Slaviyansk is ancient holy territory of all Great Mother Russian dogs for many years. Some Ukrainian people not agree, saying dog pound was before hair trim salon for cat called “Pussy Pussy Babushka” and must to give back to Ukraine, but I find ancient chewy bone behind sofa proving this false. And no hairballs!

Also liar in West say we control by humans from Moscow with dog whistle and very delicious imported horsemeat in can by Shostakovich Brothers, 23 Balalaika Street, Moscow – bulk order discounts available. I never taste such horsemeat. Really, I never taste such horsemeat. It very, very tasty. But we act freely and because we are dog.

As you see from selfie photo I wear very nice balaclava. This not because terrorist pup or Pussy Riot, but because it was old sock with many hole that got stuck on head by accident. Long story!

Now must go. Miss Abby Martin from Russia Today (Slightly Bigger Tomorrow) want to interview me. Long live ancient Republic of Slaviyansk-Dogtopia and support our struggle by defriending fellow nationalist on Facebook."



With apologies to Eric Arthur Blair.

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