Sunday, 22 February 2015


by Aesop

In a recent meeting between the newly-elected King of the Fleas and the Dog, it was agreed that the Fleas could stay on the Dog’s hairy back for another four months, but only if they followed strict conditions.

These include only eating dead skin flakes from the dog instead of drilling down and drinking its blood; while also making amends for all the blood they have drunk and itchiness they have caused in the past by helping the dog in its daily work of catching frisbees, running after wet tennis balls, and chasing the postman.

After the meeting, King Alexis of the Fleas said, “I know you elected me on the promise of telling the dog to go and f**k itself, but my chief economic adviser told me that if we did that, the Dog would start rigorous scratching and we would lose the favourable position we have built up by being members of the Dog-o-zone. Also, Golden Spawn might be elected.”

The former King of the Fleas, the leader of the New Dogmocracy Party, was particularly scathing about the deal.

“The conditions imposed by the Dog will be particularly severe because the new King has gone out of his way to disrespect the Dog,” he explained. “When I was King, we always showed the Dog the greatest respect and sometimes tickled its tummy in a pleasing way, so it was more than happy to allow us to suck a few drops of its blood.”

Other critics have said that the deal is simply not workable, as the Fleas are not adapted to catching wet tennis balls or frisbees, and the postman won't even know they are there.

"The deal simply delays the day when the Dog will have a good old scratch or dose of flea powder," said a top vet from the IMF.

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