SPANK IT BLACK!: CRITICS CREAM THEMSELVES OVER 'BLACK PANTHER'


Like dutiful Politburo members standing and clapping with one accord for Premier Stalin—and nobody daring to be the first to let up on the applause—the critical establishment is effusively pouring forth copious streams of gushing affection for Black Panther, an upcoming Marvel movie featuring a black superhero and set in an Afrocentric futuristic Utopia called "Wakanda."

Andy observes the embarrassing extent of their obsequious, unanimous adulation:


Update: and yet behold! Some potato-munching miscreant from Ireland has played spoilsport, disrupting formerly held "100 percent fresh" approval rating at Rotten Tomatoes.com! Surely such heretical hatespeech ought not be allowed to stand... Surely a forced public recanting and apology is in order! Andy issues a demand that the consensus be vigorously enforced, with EXTREME PREJUDICE:


2 comments:

  1. There's another new movie coming out titled Red Sparrow which stars Jennifer Lawrence as a ballerina forced by the Russia government to be a spy and use her body to obtain secrets from the CIA. It's not just the critics, Hollywood itself has no shame. They really are very frightened by the thought of a thaw in hostilities between white Russians and white Americans.

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  2. It's a great movie, and the critics know it. Are you hater? How do you know what they feel? Do you feel empowered trying to access someone else mind cause they don't carry your view. It's a franchise-that has been with people since they we're children. They are happy to see the Panther live again. You make something be something its not. Its not that deep. Anyone can have an opinion. This is America.

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